funny-text-posts:

Part 2 of my favourite text posts

wingardium-liftiosa:

dancingonthegrave:

THIS IS THE MOST RELEVANT THING I’VE EVER SEEN ON THE INTERNET. EVER. 

Reblogging again because it’s more true now than it’s ever been.

sophmoreslump:

sophmoreslump:

im jesus


judas no

sophmoreslump:

sophmoreslump:

im jesus

judas no

tell us your most embarrassing story
Anonymous

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

image

The road so far…
thepatientlywaitingfox:

she-wants-the-eod:

highball2814:

reverendrevenant:

I could have used this information over the last 29 years of my god damn life

My mom taught me to pack like this and she gets mad when I come to visit and sees that I don’t use it.

I need to remember this for uniforms.

Oh my god, I am learning this ASAP. HOW DID I NOT KNOW OF THIS BEFORE?!

thepatientlywaitingfox:

she-wants-the-eod:

highball2814:

reverendrevenant:

I could have used this information over the last 29 years of my god damn life

My mom taught me to pack like this and she gets mad when I come to visit and sees that I don’t use it.

I need to remember this for uniforms.

Oh my god, I am learning this ASAP. HOW DID I NOT KNOW OF THIS BEFORE?!

marynesq:

lessgeeking-morescience:

marynesq:

likasashes:

puscyiffer:

remember when half of tumblr simultaneously disregarded the law of conservation of mass because of a gif with a chocolate bar on it

image

image

image

image

Okay, I know it wouldn’t work but I’m dumb so I tried, and now that you’ve made me waste 15 minutes of my life, eXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO ME.

So :

http://i.imgur.com/nA53dlx.gif

The pieces actually grow bigger as they slide.

I will fucking murder the pieces of shit who did this.

tensioned:

why does everything close so early on sunday jesus didnt die for this

iamafoodieyumm:

CAN WE TAKE A MINUTE TO APPRECIATE WHAT TUMBLR HAS DONE FOR EARTH DAY? 

iamafoodieyumm:

CAN WE TAKE A MINUTE TO APPRECIATE WHAT TUMBLR HAS DONE FOR EARTH DAY? 

justchanty:

sadly  night is near, can’t the moon be our sun?

justchanty:

sadly  night is near, can’t the moon be our sun?

Dean: that son of a bitch
Dean in front of Ghostfacers cameras: that motherfucking asshole fuck you fucker fuck shit

alekshdfilms:

one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat

hazifiy:

disheartens:

I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT awkward teenage girl who sorta wants a man but can’t really get one 

i feel this spiritually

destiel-johnlock-in-the-tardis:

skeletonflight:

AU The Fault In Our Stars where Hazel Grace succumbs to the cancer and dies and in the last scene all you see is Augustus standing out side with a cigarette between his lips and a hand slowly reaching up to light it.

AU where you shut the fuck up